back again.

i honestly thought that i was over you.
at one point i think i made myself believe that.
but it is no where near the truth.
you are constantly on my mind.
i am always searching for you.
just waiting for you to walk through the door,
walk by me.
and i am very disappointed when you don't.
i am surrounded by many people,
but never the ones i want it to be.
i just want you.
but i don't think that i deserve you.
right?
i think you wanted to hold me today,
but i might be mistaken.
i think you know,
but you aren't sure.
i wish i had the nerve to tell you
how i truly feel.
i think one day i will.
i just want you to want me.
i want you.
why does everything i write sound like a poem?
hmm...how many poems have i written about you?
too many, most likely.
i'm sure you don't want them.
don't really care.
so i guess we are back to the beginning,
to the times when i just wish you were mine.
though we do speak more often,
once in a while, touch.
we smile and laugh.
i think you know.

have a beautiful night all you lonely lovers.

please.

i'd like to rid myself of all the worlds disasters.
to learn how to actually breath,
and not catch myself starving for air.
for my heart to actually beat joyfully,
rather than break more with each thump.
i'd like to find you,
and allow us to be happy together.
to see the earth for all it's beauty,
though people have destroyed it.
for the sun to shine,
not only due to good weather.
i'd like to hold your hand,
and not feel as though it was the only thing keeping you beside me.
i'd like the world to rejoyce,
in the simple fact that we are on this planet.
i want to live,
and breath,
and smile.
without all the worlds disasters,
trying to hold me down.